22nd December 2011

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My Birthday.

It’s my birthday today and I’ve learned something valuable that I want to share with everyone. For a whole year I’ve been lost. My definition of lost is channeling energy into areas that aren’t beneficial: i.e. Hate. That’s right. I hated my life for quite some time – relationship excluded. In fact, I hated everyone. I had no direction. I was mad, didn’t know what to be grateful, appreciative, or thankful for. Until today. It took me a while to just get passed one huge issue, but after talking to people and clearing things up, I was able to finally move on with my life. I’m thankful for those people. I appreciate life a lot more, and hate is now a characteristic of the past. My point is that people can change, people can go from a to b – it all takes time and healing, but I’m definitely proud to say that it does happen. We feel a certain way for a reason and no one can really understand until they’ve been there. Although we may have different experiences, the connection with people and their feelings is universal. It is easy to brush people off and tell them to get over an issue, but sometimes that’s not what they want to hear. It may seem that telling them to get over an issue may be the right words, but then again it doesn’t make you a better person for telling them that because you did nothing to help them solve that issue. Listening and having an open mind is all that is needed. Just listen. Don’t say anything. An open mind doesn’t come with opinions. Some people may say we’re all busy or we don’t have time. Time is there if you make time. Sometimes we get caught up in what we’re doing – yea, I understand. However, five minutes of your time to people who are looking for someone to listen is all they need. Five minutes. Five minutes can make all the difference. Five minutes can save a person a year of trouble. Five minutes can be that time to clear things up with a person or to solve an issue. It’s honestly everything to that one person who needs it. On a different note - Thanks everyone for the birthday greeting. Honestly, I love each and every one of you who are reading this message (even those who didn’t) because it’s my thank you, my comfort, my wake-up call to you saying that I do appreciate you and that you are reading this for a reason. You’re reading this because you care. And I hope that what you took from this message is something you can keep with you. You’re loved. Always remember that. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.

7th December 2011

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Back to Tumblr.

It’s been a long long while since I’ve been here. Things have changed dramatically. It’s crazy what a year can do and where decision can take me. I’m content. I’m Happy. I think that’s all I can ask for.

26th December 2010

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I was given this picture.

I was given this picture.

22nd November 2010

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Mandy Moore - Someday We’ll Know.

So I wake up every morning… with a smile :). Only because I’m excited for the fact that you’re finally on your own. I’m happy I’m going to do my thing and that you will too. No bitterness toward you or anyone else. I’m able to live in peace with no regret, but the inspiration and motivation to understand where life is going to take me. It’s about time that you get out of your shell. I’ve always been about self-growth, and I’m happy to see that you’re finally going to sprout. Someday we’ll know. We definitely will. In time. We may become friends. We may not. Just know, I know you’re happy. and I bet you’re smiling reading this because you know that I made the right decision to let you on your own. Thank me later. Don’t trip, you’ll be in my heart. I’ll remember you as my first love. That’s all there is to it. And as always “Much Love”.

With all due respect, I’m sorry for whatever I did. But there’s no point in worry about it. Live your life. Live it up. It’s what I’ve always pushed you to do.

16th November 2010

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Youth Asylum - Color Everywhere

There was a time in my life where everything was laid back - perfect wouldn’t be the right word to describe my past. I overplayed/did everything such as computer games and became really good at them. It was crazy just going about life with the sense that I was just trying to live life and not worry about who I was going to end up with. However, I stopped that. Just recently, my homegirl told me last night that everything will be ok in the long run, that there’s no need to worry about who I’m going to end up with because the future will take place regardless. So I’m doing just that. It just sucks cause I’m moving on, it’s finally over, we’re going to split ways, and we’ll just have to stomach the fact that everything will be ok. it was fun. it was dope, it was an experience. you’ll be ok though. I don’t hate you. Things are just awkward, eventually it’ll die down. you’ll live your life, i’ll live mine. some people will forget, some people wont. it’s totally fine though. there’s no need to worry about those who can’t forgive and forget - 2 years from now that won’t be my problem.

Happy birthday to you on your 21st, I don’t expect you to know I said it, but I just wanted to vent it here and tell you. Stay safe and do your thing. take care.

14th November 2010

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Mariah Carey - Jesus Born On This Day

What more can I say? This song is the greatest Christmas song in my opinion. I’ve had great memories chilling with my family while this song was playing in the background. The holidays are so important in our life that we sometimes don’t stop and thank God for what he has given us. Most of the time we’re always asking for things and never worry about giving back to him. we should worship and glorify him. Although there are many that may not agree because of religious views, I’m speaking from a point of view of believing in God. I don’t claim Christianity or Catholicism, I just have my faith in God and try to build my relationship with him no matter what the cause. I’m grateful. Grateful, even though I’m pre-celebrating Christmas right now. I just know that I thank you God for everything that you have given me. Never have let me down. Ever. <3 God.

In addition, I want to this to be a vent to my Grandpa and Uncle Robert who are currently watching over my family and I. Thank you for being guardian angels and just making sure that we’re always safe. I really appreciate the fact that when you were both on Earth, you did whatever it took to make those happy around you. Grandpa, Thank you for working really hard and giving us the opportunity to enjoy living in California - you had the choice to pick New York when you immigrated from the PI. Thank you so being so optimistic regardless of your illness. Your determination to hold on till Christmas. I admire your determination even though you didn’t make it. Although, I know I’ll take care of the family, my friends, and those who are around me regardless if they like or dislike me. You’ve shown me to not hate, to not criticize, to look at the world with an open mind and helped me to build that relationship with God (eventually down the road). I pray every night and I know you hear me as well. Know that I’m always missing you. Know that I’ll always love you. You really made me smile as a kid. Now, that I’m bigger - I’ll make you smile by taking care of the family when my time comes. Optimism. No doubt. Love. No doubt. Head strong looking at the future.

To my Uncle Robert, I hope you’re doing fine. I know that we were never as close because of family issues, but I want to let you know that you were a big role model as well when Brandon and I were growing up. You were always smiling, always laid back, and helping. I thank you for watching over Brandon cause I know he’s gonna make it one day.  That kid has some determination and the heart bigger than an ocean, mind clear as glass, and a great personality. He has your heart. I know, you know, that I’ve been praying for you as well. I thank you for doing the best part and just watching over Brandon cause that’s my one and only close cousin. I love both of you dearly. I promise to take care of the rest of the family. I know when I make it, I’ll make sure they live good and that they’ll always be happy and healthy.

With Love,

RC - I Love you God, Grandpa, and Uncle Robert.

14th November 2010

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Telepopmusik - Breathe

Kicked it today, got some stuff off my chest that felt good. It’s great knowing that to myself I don’t lie. I don’t lie cause I have nothing to hide, and because I don’t need to do any of that to kick it with the people I want. Honestly, it’s been a journey. It’s been a crazy journey, but I’m here. Happy. Relaxing. Looking to each day on a positive note and fighting against the negativity that comes my way. I’ve learned faster than ever to just let things go and move on with my life. There’s no need to waste my time here, there’s nothing here. So I’m on my own again. In my world again. Trying to bring people inner peace. Got a perspective? I want to hear it. I’m here with open arms and an open mind.

It was dope to clear my mind. I’m happy I was able to. It’s crazy how one thing can be so enlightening to your life, and then in seconds shatter before your eyes in millions of pieces. in millions of memories. memories that i’ll keep for the rest of my life. I learned to accept that it’s finally over. I hope you have a great life. I’m sorry for whatever I did. I was just trying to be fair to myself. Selfish? Not so much. Selfish would have been giving you all of me without satisfying what I needed for myself. Selfish would have been giving up my happiness to make you happy. Although, it doesn’t matter now, much love.

12th November 2010

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Neyo - Fade into the Background.

It’s 12:36 AM and I’m up when I gotta be at school later this morning at 8:00 AM. Anyway It’s songs like this that make you regret, make you think different. Strong words. strong vibes. Don’t let it. Move forward. Self discovery and Self worth is important. In the single life, walls are up and ready to take down any enemy, but watch the leap before jumping because you might just end up falling. Falling into a trap, falling back down from the mountain you climbed in the single life. Are you falling? We all do. However, it’s not about falling. Pessimism. Think. Optimism. Falling, to re-climb new heights and break that plateau and learn why climbing wasn’t possible before. Think video games. The room you can’t pass because of an obstacle. Trigger the mechanism. Pass the obstacle. Muscle memory. Land a trick. More you practice, the better you get.

Whats being said is an example of what IT really is. We build ourselves in the single life and commit to areas that promote self-discovery and eventually attain self-worth. there’s no such thing as judging (or you shouldn’t) because we’ll all make mistakes, we’re all human. Challenge yourself and grasp what you want to grasp, get what you want to get. Live the life you want to live for we all do too little of this. So forgive everyone, because it’s never too late. Love everyone because everyone wants to be loved in the first place. Too much positivity, less negativity, equals the life you end up seeing.

11th November 2010

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Mike Posner - Please Don’t Go

Went to Angelo’s Party this morning at 12:30 AM. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELO!) it was a pretty crazy party. Something that I’m not used to, but glad I went because I saw some familiar faces and realized even more how small this world is. Crazy night. Good Vibes. Great People. Kicked it with some nursing friends and connected on a mental level and saw the perspectives of people, who were willing to share their life experiences and their outlook on certain actions that might be unacceptable to some people. I’m thankful for that. I understand you more than ever and it’s great to have that connection cause there are very few people with a “B” type personality. but “A” WE GET IT. Much love to those people. Thank you for your time and understanding. That’s all I ever wanted. In time we’ll all get there.

9th November 2010

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Weatherbox - Drugs

      Song is pretty dope if you haven’t heard it. Introduced to me by Kenny Kempis and Brian Ven Santos - So thanks to them :). On another note, I’m glad to say that everything is ok. Everything will be fine. I’m noticing myself coming together and becoming one with my actions and thoughts each and every day that I take a step out. I’m thankful. Thankful for the people who are currently around me. Thankful for those select who understand me. Thankful for those who love me. Cause I love you all too. I think it’s dope that I can withstand the cloud over my head - with the help of those who surround me. I had a fun day. One word. Improv. [ Lance Denny Annie Vy ]